Those Two Are Crazy
by WeirdyTheFangirl
Summary: One word to describe Nagihiko and Rima's relationship:... scary. Or maybe sensual... Let's call it a tie! Two words to describe Nagihiko and Rima's relationship: scary and sensual. W-Wait... that sounds sort of wrong... / Rimahiko from Amu's point of view.


I wasn't sure what to rate this, but I went with T because it only has _implied _sexual content. I hope that's okay!

* * *

One word to describe Rima and Nagihiko's relationship is… scary.

Or maybe sensual.

Let's call it a tie.

I don't know who gave them to permission to start dating (oh wait… was that me?), but it wasn't a healthy choice. I mean, sure, at first we wanted them to date because they were always having 'moments'; but now?

I'm happy for them, but… I don't even know what to say.

Seems just like yesterday when Rima came to me all panicked, "SHIT. SHIT. Amuuu!"

"Whaa- What's wrong?"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH THE CROSSDRESSER."

Of course she changed her mind every other day with a, "I don't think I actually like him. He's so annoying and ignorant!" and the next day, "Ugh, I can't help it. I wanna eat his face."

Yah, she was sorta passionate about it (and by 'sorta passionate,' I mean hella lustful), which was cute. At first. Then she got a little aggressive, which I could _still _handle, "I wanna rip off his clothes…"

But with a love-sick Nagihiko added onto it, it was driving me nuts. How did it go from Nagihiko mildly pointing out Rima's political flaws and Rima saying how frustrating and smart-assy he was, to them telling me their fucking sexual fantasies and how when they saw each other they wanted to push the other harshly up against the wall-

Um, long story short, they both like it rough.

You could literally _feel _the sexual tension. Every time I looked at one of them, they were staring hard at the one another. Usually with Rima biting her lip and Nagihiko's eyes blazing. It'd started getting out of hand (they weren't even dating). And one day...

"It's not my fault you don't know anything." Nagihiko had his Rima-reserved smirk on his face, the two no more than a foot from each other. We'd all gotten used to the sensual-stress induced arguments about… nothing.

"I know I'm smarter than you!"

"Oh please." He chuckled, stepping forward, "There's no way you're smarter than me. I don't even know why you'd think that."

"Um, besides the fact that I got a 32 on my ACT*?" Rima scowled.

"Hm, I forgot you got a 32!" Nagihiko frowned. "Oh wait.. I thhhhink I got a 34," his mouth stretched into a crooked smile once again.

I saw Kukai, who was casually hanging around the garden, sweat drop, "I only got a 24…"

Tadase followed with, "26..."

By now, Rima and Nagihiko were standing face to face. Rima glaring daggers up at him, and Nagihiko smirking up a storm.

"Stop smirking, you look like a loaf of bread."

Nagihiko widened his smirk and his teeth became visible.

"As long as you stop glaring at me." He murmured cockily, "You know I can't handle myself when you do that..."

Rima blushed slightly, which made me sweat drop, considering if someone said that to me, I'd be tomato!Amu.

"Well, you're smirk isn't really helping me stay sane, either."

Oh dear god. You could _feel it. _You could _feel _that they were about to break,"Uh, g-guys…"

"I can't stop myself from smirking when I can practically feel you _wanting me_."

"R-Rima?" I tried to get their attention, I really did!

"Right, 'cause you're being so secretive with _your _feelings. Idiot."

They were literally nose to nose now, _breathing _on each other. Rima was _biting her lips _again and Nagihiko's eyes were looking at them hungrily.

"Oooh myyy goood…" Tadase sang dramatically, feeling the calm before the storm, too. Rima started muttering insults.

"You're so stupid. And annoying. And stuck up…"

And bam, they moved at the same time. Rima immediately put her hands on either side of his face, touching his red cheeks and jumping as he grabbed her waist and lifted her, their lips meeting in the middle of them moving. Her legs quickly locked around his waist while the said 'stupid, annoying, stuck-up' boy stumbled out the doors of the garden, his head tilted up for access to koala!Rima's lips. (It looked like a fucking scene out of The Notebook** or something…)

…

As you can guess, they went to go have a heavy make-out session somewhere.

"D-Did that really just happen?" Tadase muttered.

"Wh-wh- Did you guys see, too?" Kukai's eyes were wide.

"Amu?" Tadase said, worried. My face was burning red and I couldn't move. My two best friends… I just saw…

I didn't know whether I was happy or traumatized. Either way, I was tomato!Amu.

So, as of that day, they were officially dating.

But the sexual tension ceasing to exist? Yeah, like that would ever happen.

t(^ _ ^t)

"Mashiro, Fujisaki! Why are you late again?" The first period teacher scowled, looking at the two teenagers who had just entered English.

Rima's face was bright red and her shirt was on crooked, the buttons not even aligned with their rightful holes, with a messy haired Nagihiko standing next to her, a pleased look on his face.

Both of them being experienced actors, (turns out Rima was in 4 commercials in Elementary school- yeah, I know, I didn't know either), they lied smoothly, one after the other.

"Well, my mom's car wasn't working," Nagihiko began.

"And my mom had to left early for work, even though she said prior 30 minutes she'd give Fujisaki and me a ride today," Rima continued.

"So we called a cab, but…"

"When we got in, the girl tried to rob us!"

"And so I grabbed Rima and we ran here as fast as we could!"

"W-Which is why I'm all red and a mess."

"Well, I _guess _that's part of the reason, besides the fact that I- Ow!" Rima stomped on Nagihiko's toe before he could continue.

The teacher got glossy eyed at Nagihiko for no apparent reason (he's such a teacher pet), and said, "Well, I suppose I'll let it slide just this time." ("But this has happened 4 times!" Saya whined, having been tardy for 3 days and still being held accountable for them.)

"Thank you, sensei." Nagihiko bowed and went to sit down at his and Rima's table, Rima fixing Nagihiko's hair on the way.

They began having a foot war under the table. No, they weren't playing footsy. They were having _a_ _foot war_. They would stomp on each other and kick one another's ankles and the weird part was they actually looked like they were having fun.

Everyone knew they were dating, even though they never actually came out and said it. But, when the blonde curly haired chibi and the indigo-haired guardians make-out and/or disappear for all of lunch, people are going to suspect that something's going on.

All of Nagihiko's fangirls/boys were glaring at Rima, and vice versa, as they continued to kick and struggle against one another.

Even though it was frightening how sensual they acted in between class periods and after/before school, and much they flirted during, you could really tell they just couldn't get enough of each other. Which was a little inspiring.

Like that didn't make it less annoying, though.

=(' T ')=

We all stood awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Nagihiko and Rima.

I, of course, was shuffling my feet on the ground while taking a deep interest in my shoes, red in the face. I refused to think... no. Kukai and Yaya both weren't saying anything. Surprisingly, Tadase was the first to speak.

"IN THE ROYAL GARDEN?" He shouted, not necessarily mad, just rather… annoyed.

"We weren't doing anything..." Nagihiko defended, looking away. But it was hard to take him seriously when _he didn't have a shirt on. _Him and Rima stood shoulder to shoulder (or rather shoulder to head, since she's so short), both sweaty, the sun setting behind them through the glass windows of the garden.

"Really?!" Tadase asked, astounded. He pointed at Rima's shirt, still on but completely unbuttoned, showing the middle part of her bra, which was lacy purple. He then pointed to her crooked skirt and then, obviously, Nagihiko's shirtless body. "_Really_?!" He repeated, exasperated.

"It isn't like we were having sex," Rima mumbled in a flat tone, blowing her bangs out of her face while she crossed her arms, "We were just making out."

Tadase swung his hands around in a frustrated manner, yelling through clenched teeth (though his face was bright red as well do to the activities that could have potentially taken place moments before we walked in), "In the bloody Royal Garden! Being close to being half-naked! It was cleaning day; Fujisaki-kun, I would have expected better out of you..." He sighed.

"I finished my cleaning and helped Rima-chan with hers. It isn't a big deal; you know I wouldn't be so stupid to do _that_ in a school-"

"More than once…" Rima muttered, before quickly slapping her hand over her mouth, causing Nagihiko to form sweat droplets on his face and laugh nervously.

"Rima-chan…" He managed meekly.

"YOU GUYS HAVE _DONE_ _IT _ON SCHOOL PROPERTY BEFORE?!" Tadase yelled, his voice cracking and his red face turning shades darker. I was shocked beyond repair, standing there with vacant eyes like a broken toy or something. Nagihiko and Rima… The two that fought for my best-friendship, were having… having…

"HAVING SEX?" I blurted out, "Y-Y-Y-YOU TWO HAVE HAD SEX BEFORE? TOGETHER?!" I pointed a finger at them, steam coming off my face, Nagihiko sweat dropping while Rima's mouth formed a small 'o', her eyes turning to dots, "YOU TWO. NAGI AND RIMA. SEX. TOGETHER."

Then I fainted. Haha, oops.

\(^ o ^)/

Turns out, yes, they did have sex. A lot.

And they didn't even try to conceal the fact that they did! Once, they came to school on a Monday morning, both looking exhausted. Rima hit him when she stepped forward, and told him to stop getting so over-zealous on Saturday nights, because her muscles were hurting like a bitch. He just looked at her and said, "Well then, stop asking for me to go _faster_ and _harder_-"

I began sweating nervously as Rima cut him off.

"Hey! You can't use that against me, I only say that stuff in the heat of the moment..." Rima rolled her eyes as Nagihiko flung his arm around her shoulder and walked on, crunching on an apple. I've got to say, it was a really nice morning. The sky was orange and pink and the sun was casting warmth on us, yet the air was still cool and refreshing. It was perfect! Until...

"Isn't the heat of the moment really the only moment that matters?" Nagihiko said, before leaning into her ear, a mischievous smile creeping onto Rima's face as he did so, "Isn't that exact moment of ecstasy _worth _me going _harder_ and _faster. _Isn't the aching that's inevitable to follow _worth_ it when your _back is arching _and you're _moaning_ and your nails are digging into my arms-"

"GAH. STOP. MY POOR VIRGIN EARS!" I randomly blurted out, finally getting my voice back from the shock of listening to… _that_, not wanting him to go into every single little detail (well, too late Amu. Jesus Christ…)

Rima gave me her 'oh please' look before saying in a deadpan voice, "What, like Ikuto doesn't ever talk dirty to you?"

Enter tomato!Amu,"What? N-no! I'm only 18, he's already 23!"

"Amu-chan, you're old enough to date him, you know." Nagihiko added, Rima taking his apple and having a bite of it herself.

"Well, it g-goes without saying that we're also at school, and you s-shouldn't be talking like that!" I crossed my arms and looked away.

"Do I have to remind you of the time I walked in on you and Ikuto…?" Nagihiko added, making him and Rima giggle and chuckle.

"H-HE MADE ME TRIP!" I tried to explain the whole fiasco in which Ikuto (the little cat burglar) had my egg, and I reached for it and tripped (honest!)

Then he (somehow, *facepalm*) tripped on top of me and, for obvious reasons, it looked '_wrong_.'

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway... where was I?" Nagihiko smirked against Rima's ear, causing her to giggle.

"Dear god. I'm out of here." I mumbled.

( ^ v ^ )

Now they were arguing about… You guessed it. Nothing.

"Rima-chaan!" Nagihiko whined, having accidentally said something offensive to Rima (like he's never done that before) and her taking it very seriously. No, not because he said something about her height, or that she looked bloated… but that he said she smelled like… carrots.

"Carrots?! I DON'T WEAR PERFUME FOR ONE DAY AND SUDDENLY I SMELL LIKE VEGETATION."

"I didn't mean it like that!" He waved his hands around, "R-Rima! I love carrots!"

"I don't. Give. A fuck." She seethed. Usually people who aren't very close friends with Rima would be mortified to see her in this state. But in all truthfulness, it wasn't as scary as it was the first couple times she'd get annoyed, "I don't like carrots. Me._** Me**_ no like carrots!" she stomped, causing Nagihiko and I to stifle a laugh. She always did look like a 7th grader when she stomped.

"Woah, 5th grade flashback…" Kukai mumbled.

She emitted her signature growl before exclaiming, "DAMMIT. I'M LEAVING!" She grabbed her bag and flung it over her shoulder, looking flustered and miffed. Nagihiko just leaned against the table, a neutral look replacing the previously panicked one on his face as she walked out of the Royal Garden.

He started looking at his nails cockily, like he'd remembered something she hadn't, before he began counting down, "3… 2… 1…"

"Dammit!" Rima came bursting in again right on 1, stomping over towards Nagihiko. Grabbing his tie, she pulled him towards the door, "You're lucky it's been 2 days and my mom's out of town."

Before he was completely dragged out of the door, he looked back at us, winking.

"Are Rima and Nagi gonna have sex?!" Yaya screeched, making me flinch not only because of her ear wrenching scream, but because she said… the sex word….

Tadase shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows at the Guardian work his little cousin forgot to do, before giving a defeated sigh,"Unfortunately."

"2 days since…?" I asked.

"They've last had sex." Kukai and Tadase said in unison.

"DAYUM RIMA AND NAGI DO IT LIKE RABBITS!" I flinched again, Yaya's eyes going wide as she pointed out the _painfully_ obvious truth.

Kukai looked sort of glum, "Which is sad, considering Utau and I haven't had sex in 5 weeks…"

Tadase patted him on back, "It's okay, Souma-kun… You're only 19, and she's only 21, it'll get better."

All I could think about was the fact that everyone was comfortable with the subject of sex all of a sudden.

And I was over here in my own little corner, with about as much sexual experience as a stuffed deer.

(~T 3 T)~

I ran downstairs as fast as I could, breathing heavily, adorning a cherry colored face. Why? Why would I agree to go to a sleepover at Nagihiko's with the whole gang- including Rima?

Do I even have to explain anything besides the fact that I opened the wrong bedroom door?

\(? _ ?)/

"AGAIN?! THIS IS NO WAY TO ACT IN A KING'S CASTLE!" Tadase yelled at, yet again, a nearly half naked Rima and Nagihiko, Yaya and me standing idly by while we witnessed a rare character change (that can sometimes still happen long after a chara is gone).

"S-Since when was the Royal Garden you're castl-" Nagihiko began.

"SILENCE, PEASANT."

,(- _ -,)

_**You see? I told you. It was a tie between crazy and sensual.**_

(,- _ -),

College wasn't any better. Nagihiko didn't even go to our college, and yet _every single night _I'd walk in to see him on top of my little baby roommate Rima. Goodness, I've lost count of how many times I've walked in on them. Thankfully, I learned my lesson after the first week; after walking in on them how many times? (See previous sentence.)

It's a shocker Rima hasn't gotten pregnant yet...

(^, _ ,^)s

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay getting to the restroom, Amu?" Wana, a friend from English, asked over the loud house party music

"O-Of course!" I burped, my words slurred. She bit her lip tentatively. "Waaani," I sighed, her sweat dropping at her nickname, "It's ju-**UU-**st the restroom. I'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine."

"Fine, okay. Just… hurry back, 'kay?" I nodded giddily, climbing up the stairs, hanging onto the rail as if my life depended on it.

Restroom… Restroom… Ahah! I pulled open the door knob, my eyes closed, before I heard a gasp and the silence before there was loud laughter, one high pitched and one… chocolate-y. I opened my eyes to see…

"GOD DAMMIT REALLY?!" I yelled loud enough for people all across the hallway to hear. Wana came running up the stairs, looking around before spotting me.

"What's wrong?" She asked, no worry in her voice- like she'd expected me to mess up the small task of going to the restroom.

She looked into the restroom to see Rima sitting on the sink, Nagihiko between her legs, hair messy (his hair hasn't been it's old, untangled self since they'd started dating), face close to the blondes.

"Oh, are these the rabbits you were talking about?"

Nagihiko did his worlds famous sweat drop, "Rabbits, Amu-chan?"

I just laughed before falling over.

Pulling myself up, embarrassed, I managed to poop out, "I-I'm good!"

As you can tell, at this point it didn't even fluster me that my two best friends were having sex god-knows-how-many times a week or anything. It was just so _annoying. _But in a sort of good way, I guess. It felt right for Nagihiko and Rima to be sexually rabbid…

It had, unfortunately, became part of my schedule. Wake up, and mentally prepare to walk in on Rima and Nagihiko at least once. Whether it be at the mall, at a _house party, _or in the middle of class… they were doing it at least twice that day.

(r^ n ^)r

"They're _b-both_ late?" the minister surprised, looking at all of us. Utau, Yaya, and me all stood in our dresses, across from Tadase and Kukai and Rin, Nagihiko's cousin he'd studied abroad with- they were basically brothers.

"You're surprised? They're probably somewhere screwin'," Tadase said nonchalantly. Obviously, Tadase would never talk like that in any other case, but when it came down to Nagihiko and Rima, he was getting used to all the sex. I think he accepted it when he walked in on the two almost getting down and dirty in his 'castle'.

We all nodded, bored. At least none of us were surprised, except for Rin, who probably knew all about Nagihiko's mutual infatuation with Rima. The minister, on the other hand, gasped loudly. Right when he opened to his mouth to say something, the church doors busted open. In came Rima hopping on one foot, putting on a tan high heel, with Nagihiko quickly folding and doing all that fancy stuff to his tie. Rima fixed his hair as they walked up to the altar together in a hurry, Rima dressed in a white cocktail dress and Nagihiko in a simple white button up and black pants.

I let out a unexpectedly loud, "Awwww," as I remembered just 6 years ago (wow, before Rima and Nagihiko had even had sex yet) when they were tardy because of their 'make out' session.

Everyone looked at me, making me blush. I heard a hiss from my right, and turned to see Ikuto whisper to a guy around my age, "Look at her again and-"

"We are gathered here today…."

/( " v " )\

And so, here I am, trying to give my maid of honor speech… And that's the only stuff I can think of. And other stuff of that nature._  
_

I look off into the corner before saying bluntly, "Nagihiko and Rima have had _a looooooooooooot _of sex," like it's something that happens every day (which it does).

Nagihiko's mother gasps loudly ("Oh dear!") while Rima's dad falls out of his chair; but the grandmas and grandpas I don't think believe me; they're just looking at me strangely, maybe a little surprised that I'd say such a thing.

"AMU!" Nagihiko and Rima, both now 24, yell whilst blushing madly.

"It's true," mumbles the blonde Best Man, plopping his head onto his fist. _Now_ everybody believes it, since it was coming from Tadase, which earns several gasps from the older invitees. The younger ones, not so much, considering most of them have walked in on Rima and Nagihiko as least once.

"To the newly married couple!" Utau raises her glass. Kukai raises his as well and we all follow (not including the traumatized parents of the bride and groom and horrified old guests), turning to look at Nagihiko and Rima…

Who aren't there.

I somehow know they're having sex in their limo, well ready for their honeymoon.

Wonder what _they'll_ be doing in Spain for 2 weeks.

( * o * )

* * *

*It's an American test, and I doubt they have it in Japan, but I don't know what tests they do over there, so I hope you just went along with it?

** If you've watched The Notebook (I don't own!) you can probably picture their position pretty vividly.

I hope you enjoyed! I know Cammie Fujisaki (I don't know if she's reading this or not -_-;;) both have head canon's of Nagihiko and Rima being a very sensual couple. (But never during class because they are intelligent individuals!)

Ugh, I got serious anxiety before uploading this but I hope you liked it? ^/u/^

{The little parentheses faces are the breaks in case you didn't know :))


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